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The Poor Bar Girl - FACT or FICTION



For all the reader’s of Stick’s newsletters that still feel that they are in love with a Thai girl / woman, whether bar girl, prostitute, working girl, office girl, or what have you, NEVER, NEVER MARRY A THAI WOMAN - ANY THAI WOMAN. I cannot over stress this enough. After the initial ‘honeymoon’ is over, in 1 - 5 years, you will regret ever knowing the woman. Upon reading the following, you, the reader can decide for himself the MYTH and the FACTS. Reading Stick’s newsletters, as well as other published media, I have found the following basic themes:
1. A THAI GIRL IS FORCED INTO PROSTITUTION AND INTO BECOMING A BAR GIRL. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

The THAI girl of TODAY (90% plus) and I suspect for the past 5 - 10 years, have MADE THE CHOICE THEMSELVES to get into prostitution and become bar girls. They MAY have had SOME pressure from family OR INFLUENCE FROM OTHER BAR GIRLS in deciding to become a bar girl / prostitute, BUT they were not forced into it.

For the past 5 - 10 years the THAI girl has lost her virginity between 12 and 15 years of age to ‘boyfriends’ not ‘raped’ as a lot of them would have you believe. They are not and were not SOLD by family into a life of prostitution (a very, very small percentage of THAI pre-teens and early teen VIRGINS are sold to THAI MALE DOMINATED BROTHELS which IS a rotten shame - BUT NOT TO ‘FARANGS’).

So why do they become bar girls and prostitutes? What motivates them into becoming bar girls / prostitutes? MONEY AND LUXURY. They ‘love’ GOLD, jewellery, televisions, stereos, CLOTHES, etc.

There are also 2 kinds of poor in Thailand - the poor of Bangkok that sleep in the streets, under bridges, never bathe, no money, etc. These people you ‘pity’.

The second kind - The Poor Thai Bar Girl - is not to be pitied! They have, BACK IN THEIR VILLAGE, a house with a roof, they have a family, they have neighbours like themselves, they have food to eat, etc. So why did they leave the village - GREED. The village life would require them to work in the ‘rice fields’ making 100 - 120 Baht a day! This they will not do. They will not ‘SOIL’ their hands with day-to-day labor in the ‘rice fields’ AND MOST OF THEM ARE ‘TOO DUMB’ OR LAZY TO LEARN A TRADE. The FACT is that there are many things that the Thai girl could learn to do but these ‘jobs’ do not pay you 10,000 plus baht a month!

THE PROSTITUTE IS THE ‘FAMILY INCOME STREAM’, ‘HELPS THE EXTENDED FAMILY’, ‘SENDS MONEY TO THE FAMILY’, ‘A WAY OUT OF POVERTY FOR FAMILY’, ETC. THESE ARE ‘STORIES’ THAT HAVE BEEN TOLD OVER AND OVER AS ‘FACTS.’

The Thai prostitute / bar girl DO NOT send money to the ‘family.’ If the family is lucky they may get a token ‘gift’ of 1,000 to 5,000 Baht once a year during Songkran (Thai New Year’s when young people honour their parents by pouring perfumed water over their hands) when the prostitute / bar girl visits the family.

Most Thai rural village families do not live in poverty. They have land to do their rice farming or cattle that hopefully provide offspring that can be sold year after year. If the family does not have land or cattle, those that do, hire the people for 100 to 120 Baht per day to sow and cultivate the rice crop. But that is very little money - a pittance - to live on? Not in the rice farming villages. You have to live in one to really understand how the system works - bartering and hand-outs, etc. The people are not rich and they are not starving. AND THEY ARE HAPPY.

If the bar girl / prostitute is not giving the money to the family, what are they doing with their money? Good question. They do not buy cars, they do not build houses for their old age, they do not buy cattle so that they can sell the offspring, they do not buy land, etc. It appears that the prostitute is only interested in a ‘good’ time!

Remember, these are women that have very little in the way of education. They were not instructed in how to save and spend money and if you try to teach them about banks and savings, as I have tried to do, they will not listen to you. To them, GOLD is the only commodity worth having because if they are badly in need of money they will sell their gold!

THE ‘POOR THAI BAR GIRL’ IS TRYING TO ‘FIND A HUSBAND.’

They are looking for that proverbial pot of GOLD at the end of the rainbow and most believe that they can attain that GOLD by marrying a STUPID ‘farang.’ IN THEIR EYES, THAI EYES, WE, THE ‘FARANG’ ARE STUPID TO MARRY THEM. MANY ORDINARY THAIS, AND PROSTITUTES AS WELL, HAVE STATED THIS ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS. THEY ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH US, ‘THE FARANG,’ THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH OUR ‘MONEY.’

So, what the hell does he no about Thai woman, you ask? Currently I am living in a Northern province of Thailand and have been for over 3 years and prior to that I had over 30 years of travel throughout all of Thailand, staying in several places for a year or more. In addition, I have been married to a Thai woman for 34 years, after only 7 days of ‘courtship’ where she resided / worked in a brothel, and of these 34 years (408 months) I can honestly say that for the grand total of 48 of these months we lived in harmony, peace, sex was great, we did not want to ‘kill’ each other, etc. It is a very, very long story which I will not go into here except to say that my ‘upbringing’, respect of marriage vows, children, etc. has a lot to do with me staying married and putting up with ALL THE B...S... for as long as we have. Prior to marrying my wife I spent many months running with the Thai women of Bangkok and elsewhere. I do not have a count of the number of woman I had been with except to say that it may have been a hundred.

What led you to marry her? Honestly, I felt ‘sorry for her’ and the life she had to look forward to. There may have been a ‘little love’ between us at the time we married but it started going down hill within the 1st year of marriage. I could write a book about all the problems and difficulties being married to a Thai woman. Many of my friends were also married to Thai woman. Suffice it to say that, a WAG (Wild ASS Guess), over 70% of ‘farang’ / Thai marriages end in divorce for a variety of reasons.

You must also remember that the THAI WOMAN IS ALWAYS RIGHT even if you no, and the woman knows that she is wrong, THEY WILL ‘NEVER’ ADMIT TO BEING WRONG OR ADMIT TO MAKING MISTAKES (that’s loosing ‘FACE’). They are uneducated, my wife having a 3rd grade education, the rest of the woman, anywhere from a 3rd to 8th grade education (the equivalent of a 1st to 4th grade education in other countries) and YOU CANNOT TEACH THEM ANYTHING. If you are lucky enough to find a Thai woman with a ‘degree’, remember this, a ‘university degree in Thailand’, is about the equivalent of a ‘high school education’ in developed nations and the ‘women’ are no better than the bar girls. The Thai woman are also the BEST LIARS, STORY TELLERS, SEX-LIMITED, GREEDY, MANIPULATIVE, EXTREMELY JEALOUS, RUDE, NO CONSCIENCE, CHEATS, THIEVES, NO VALUES, etc. people I have ever met - and I have travelled all over the world - do I needed to go any further? To get some REAL insight into the Thai culture and woman, watch some Thai ‘soap operas’ on the TV. This is ‘real’ life!

Marriage

A Thai Woman will love me forever. They are family oriented and will always be there for ME. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG AGAIN.

OK! So you are still not convinced that marriage to a Thai woman would be that bad! Try this next time you are in the ‘Land of Smiles.’ Find the girl you are ‘in love with’ and keep her for a few days or a week, and then ‘butterfly’ on her (go out with another girl). When YOUR girl finds out, and she will, you will have living hell to pay if she is anything like the rest of the prostitutes. Make sure that you really listen to her when she is ranting and raving - NOW YOU KNOW WHAT MANY YEARS OF MARRIAGE TO ONE WILL BE LIKE.

OK! Still not convinced! Then I have a little ‘secret’ for you. Marry the Thai way. What? Just as I tried to explain the ‘two kinds of poor’ in Thailand there also ‘two kinds of marriage in Thailand - with ‘certificate’ and without certificate! Of course this would only apply if you plan to live in Thailand and want to live in ‘HER’ village or close by.

OK! I’m game - tell me - I live in Thailand. When you find the girl that you are madly in love with and she is ‘pretending’ to love you, suggest to the young lady that you want to marry and live with her. She should be ‘tickled pink’ to finally marry - MONEY. Tell her that you want to get married in HER VILLAGE - Thai style. Tell her, ‘You have always wanted to marry Thai style.’ Once in her village, she will arrange everything. The most important part for YOU is buying a 2 or 3 Baht GOLD chain (about 11,000 to 16,000 Baht) and a ‘dowry’ of 20,000 Baht for the family (you may have to pay more - 50,000). You give the GOLD chain to your new wife on the wedding day and the 20,000 - 50,000 Baht to the wife’s family. Now, find a place to live. A cheap house / condo / apartment will do and settle in as husband and wife. DO NOT RECORD THE MARRIAGE AT THE ‘AMPUR’ - THE WIFE MAY WANT YOU TO DO THIS - JUST KEEP PUTTING IT OFF. Also remember, you the ‘farang’ cannot OWN ANYTHING in Thailand (land, house, cows, etc.).

Up to this point it has cost you 36,000 to 66,000 Baht plus housing (rent) - OR $837 US to $1534 US. Another way to translate this is between 36 and 66 ‘pieces of ass’ (not including hotel costs, etc.). So if you stay married after 30 days YOUR AHEAD. To keep your ‘lover’ happy make sure that you buy her another GOLD chain (1 Baht chain at 5,600 Baht) each week (possibly every other week - You should know when to buy - the ‘sex’ starts getting ‘cold’) and she will love you to death and you will have the ‘best’ sex you could possibly imagine. You may also have to expend money for new clothes (for her) and other items. But what the hell, your married. Just keep track of the expenditures and the number of times you have ‘sex’ to see that you are getting your moneys worth.

By the time your first 2 months of marriage bliss is over you should be ahead from a financial stand-point - prostitute versus wife.

Good Luck!